Butterbeer!
by Inks Arrow
Summary: The result of far too much caffeine and a dumb writing asignment. A one act play envolving a tipsy Hagrid and a puffskien who is not what he seems. Set in the days of MWPP in the Three Broomsticks pub with a boogie filled slytherin and a firey red head.


**__**

Butterbeer!

A Play By: Midnight Arrow ---- *o* January 25, 2002 

_Cast: Madam Rosmerta, Hagrid, Sirius Black, James Potter, Lilly Evens and Severus Snape._

Setting "The Three-Broomsticks" pub in Hogsmead. Hagrid the gamekeeper is on his third mead and holding something fuzzy in his arms (Bolded lettering stand for actions).

Madam Rosmerta: Hagrid, where on earth did you get that?

Hagrid: Little James Potter gave it to me.

M.R: And you're trusting something James Potter gave you? Hagrid, it's probably hexed, or worse.

H. Come on Madam Lilac, even James Potter couldn't curse a Lil' thing like this! 

****

::The audience finally sees what Hagrid is holding, it's a Puffskein::

M.R: James and Sirius will hex anything that stands still long enough, but I do see your point, it is cute.

H: I'm going to call him Butterbeer.

M.R: Butterbeer?

H: He's buttered colored! Would you mind topping me off there Madam?

M.R: you sure?

****

::Hagrid nods and M.R refills his tankard::

::Several refills later, Sirius Black and James Potter enter::

James: Hello Hagrid, how is the Puffskein doing?

H: fine, jus fine…his new names is Butterbeer!

****

::James and Sirius exchange a look::

Sirius: Butterbeer?

H: Butterbeer.

J: Butterbeer?

H: Butterbeer! 

****

::Hagrid, who has become increasingly tipsy, stumbles off his chair and Butterbeer flies across the room::

J: Catch that Puffskein! 

****

::Butterbeer, continuing to fly across the room gleefully, lets loose his pink tongue and it hits a red head smack across the face before he lands on her. The red head blinks in surprise, and then begins to cuddle the creator::

H: Whoops! Almost lost the little tike! 

****

::He stumbles over to her:: 

Red head: Hello Hagrid, is this yours?

H: Hello Lily! Yeah he's mine. His name is Butterbeer.

Lily: Butterbeer?

H: **::Happily::** Butterbeer!

****

::Butterbeer's tongue continues to explore until it finds what its looking for, two booths away, a greasy haired kid yelps as the tongue goes up his nose::

H: Awe!

Lilly, James, Sirius and M.R: Ewe!

Greasy haired kid: What the heck was that!

H: Butterbeer!

****

::The Greasy haired kid is confused::: Butterbeer?

Everyone else: Butterbeer!

****

::Butterbeer finally content, rests on Hagrid's shoulders::

S: So Snape, I never knew Slytherin boogies were the chosen brand of Puffskien's, interesting.

****

::James struggles to contain laughter and Lily, rolling her eyes, drags him to the bar and throws water on him::

J: **::Sputtering::** What was that for?

L: I felt like it

M.R: Would you like a Butterbeer to warm you up?

H: No ones eating Butterbeer!

****

::Butterbeer, who had been sleeping until this point, hears this and begins to bounce off the walls::

H: See? You frightened him!

M.R: What's he doing now?

J: He's going insane!

H: **::groaning:: **Butterbeer!

Snape: Serves the bugger right!

Sirius: No Snape, you're the little bugger!

****

::They start to smack each other James throws water on them both::

L: What was that for?

J: Well, that's what you did to me, it doesn't seem to be having much effect on them though, does it?

****

::The boys are still fighting, Madam Rosmerta is telling them off for disrupting the atmosphere in her bar, but is making no attempt to stop it. And Hagrid is howling because Butterbeer is still bouncing off the walls::

L: Oh that's it!

::She performs a charm so that the boys are thrown apart into separate booths and then, with a clever freezing charm, stops the Puffskein in mid air::

S: Uh oh!

J: Um, Lily, there's something you should know about Butterbeer.

L: What?

J: I made him and gave him to Hagrid, he's not a real Puffskein, he's made out of something else.

****

::Before Lily can respond, the frozen Butterbeer comes tumbling to the ground and explodes, sending caramel colored liquid all over everyone, after a moments pause Lily licks her lips::

L: Do you realize what this taste like?

J: Butterbeer

Everyone: Butterbeer?

Hagrid:** ::howling::** Butterbeer!

****

::Lily promptly begins to throttle James while everyone else, except Hagrid that is, scoops up the liquid and drinks::

All: **::Toasting::** to Butterbeer! 

**__**

The End

The author sincerely apologizes for this while laughing her head off at the cheesy goodness. But it had to be done. This is the result of A) a really stupid writing assignment, B) WAY too much caffeine and C) my own sick and slightly twisted mind. Have a good day! I can guarantee I'll have a good one if you write a review, even if it is to yell at me! ;-)


End file.
